The Process of Getting There: My Driving Test Saga.

This week, I took my driving test. Everything was going perfectly. I looked over my shoulder at the right times, merged carefully, and maintained the perfect speed limit. I even start to picture the end of my test, posing in front of the car after my big win. #NoMoreBus. Do I ask the instructor to take a picture of me? No wait, I should have him be in it.

It is then when I approached a STOP sign while turning from a residential street onto a main road, cars zoomed past me while I clicked on my right turn signal. I looked both ways and tried to pull in front of a car that had the right of way, which led the driving instructor to tell me to stop.

We finished the test, and I sat in silence, waiting for my results. I saw him writing what felt like a novel before finally breaking the silence with, “Unfortunately, Spencer, you didn’t pass today.”

“I understand,” I replied. As tears welled up in my eyes, I looked down at the chicken-scratch notes he had written on my score sheet, which read: “Failure. Attempted a dangerous maneuver.”

“Dangerous maneauver? That’s a bit dramatic” I told myself trying to protect my parts from feeling shame and dissapoitment.

Before he left, he told me something he knew I needed to hear.

“Driving is a process.”

I internally rolled my eyes at the seemingly cliche statement. What does that mean? Driving is a process? On my way back home, I stood in the heat waiting for the bus to take me home. I started to pay attention to the different parts of myself that needed me. I start to connect to my core and think about the statement.

I suppose that means the license is the goal, sure. But it isn’t the win. Its just a single part of the process. After my license I still continue to become a better driver and experience new challenges.

Taking my permit test: win

Taking driving lessons: win

Taking my driving test: win

Taking it again: win

All of these add up to little wins I wasn’t recognizing because I was so focused on the goal. As upset and disappointed as I am, I have to remember that disappointments shape us into who we are meant to become. For reasons beyond my understanding—and that I’ll probably never know—I was meant not to pass my driving test this time. I will keep taking it over and over until I pass, and remember… driving, work, relationships, career goals—whatever we’re going through—is a process full of wins worth recognizing.